Readers, 3 is the proverbial dark horse. I will grudgingly admit that he is growing on me, all over me, actually.
Plus he is so painfully attractive in that pauvre grad student way, all button down shirts, sheepish grins, bad haircuts and sandals. Downside? A FUCKING VEGAN. I already want to slit my wrists thinking about that. He says he’s willing to upgrade to vegetarian, though, like vegan is a temporary rash of sorts.
Who to choose? I think I may end up seeing 3 before 4.
I like them both. I wish polyandry were legal. 3 for admiting weird dorky stuff, 4 for general blither and blather. Whuttt? It was practiced in the Himalayas, you know. If I tape up my eyes, I could pass for a Himachal Pradeshi.
Just kidding. At some point I will have to make a decision. Or maybe it won’t be them at all. Either way, I feel full of life and zest. How are you doing?
ETA:
Downside to 3? He reminds me so much of my Ph.d ex from two years ago…the first guy to put my heart through a shredder after my ex-fiance. This makes me extra-wary and sensitive around him…something I don’t feel around 4, probably because all my ex-MBA boys were tools that I didn’t care about too much. But it doesn’t change the fact that 3 is darling. Because my ex, while all is said and done, was quite darling…all grey shot curls and oxford shirts.
December 8, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Ooh, that vegan/vegetarian thing sounds like an obstacle. I’m just thinking of all of the Thanksgivings where my aunt’s husband would sneak into the kitchen while his vegetarian wife wasn’t looking so he could have a few bites of turkey off the scrap pile.
December 8, 2007 at 4:43 pm
I think as long as he’s not the kind of vegan who won’t have eggs or cheese in the house, it can be okay. A good friend of mine is a vegetarian with a meat-eating husband and it works out okay.
December 8, 2007 at 5:51 pm
He says he basically kind of eat and lives like a vegan these days but he will adjust to dairy, eggs and cheese if it works out between us. I guess the veganism was semi-accidental?
I chatted up 4 last night and remembered why I still have a huge soft spot for him. My convos with 4 may not be as super-intellectual (we are actually talking about how one is a shy, awkward academic and another one is a self-assured industrialist even though they have the same degree and are only months apart in age) but he seems really really emotionally mature. ESPECIALLY for an Indian guy. Plus, I think he likes my American-ness.
But I will say that I was pleased when 3 basically said the veganism wasn’t a big deal and he was willing to upgrade to vegetarian for his wife. I think that’s the limit though-I’m not certain I could wheedle les pesces into the equation.
December 8, 2007 at 6:16 pm
File this under: good problems to have. Make ‘em dance for your luv!
December 8, 2007 at 6:53 pm
LOL, I am going to have to move for either 3 or 4 so trust me, I am doing some dancing for them too. I would also have to get married abroad most likely. So the compromising is going both ways-I didn’t tell 3 the veganism would bug me, I was just like “oh” and he immediately said he would upgrade to vegetarian for a wife.
I think the best way to handle these things is in a more subtle, negotiation based manner so both parties feel like they are getting something. I eliminated Trader for making outright demands on me and trust me, I am sympathetic towards men feeling like the girl is being too demanding as well. I am definitely being very nice to these guys.
December 8, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Hey there, saw your comment on clinkny’s page and had to say hello to you. I don’t normally introduce myself to random bloggers but your comment is EXACTLY what I would have written! I’m a third year law student and am going into government work over big law next year…for the same reasons you wrote about. Plus I just looked at your “about” section and you are Indian too. what are the chances? um…ok! i’m done being totally creepy now..take care!
December 8, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Hey Bubz,
Thanks for commenting…I’m curious now so I’ll probably email you but wanted to extend a warm welcome. If you read through my archives (well, I have shut down my blog four times so the ones here aren’t very comprehensive) you’ll find that I have angsted about the decision in a lot of ways and for a lot of reasons. Maybe I am more at peace with it now because I have undertaken a big project to heal my self-image and mental health. But I am trying to take advantage of what my decision to be a Fed has given me-and that is to have more time to myself and enjoy life.
I am still not sure if I want to go to business school or not. It fascinates me in a way. I’m also very very ambitious about money and like collecting degrees like magpies like collecting tinsel. But I also want a children and a husband so I don’t really want to add to the family debt for a career I’m going to end up chucking for something less arduous in the end anyway.
All that is to say that I waver between being happy and confused about the choices I made but right now I am in a happy stage (a trough I hope continues) so I am all about spreading the positivity. Plus, why leave nasty comments on other people’s blogs anyway?
Best of luck to you in the coming year
.
December 9, 2007 at 1:09 am
Ooh, the vegan thing would be an issue for me. But as long as he’d be ok with other stuff, but I don’t think I could give up my meat. You tend to already eat vegetarian-ish so I think you’d be ok with it.
But look on the bright side, at least you do have a choice right now. That’s not really a bad thing.
December 9, 2007 at 6:28 am
I think if you spend more time with them, a favorite will emerge. Or an unfavorite – like if some of the characteristics that are charming now will annoy you and then voila, decision made!