House Hunters Haterade #1: Lincoln City Snoregon Episode

I cannot stop getting my hate on vis-a-vis the homeowners in House Hunters so I think I may just as well try to recap episodes I’ve manage to catch while I’m slumped in front of the television.

Last night’s episode featured a married couple consisting of a dippy social worker and a mute block of flesh who briefly muttered something along the lines of working as a self-employed CPA but was clearly from outer space. They lived somewhere woodsy in New Mexico, right outside of Alburquerque, which is one of those unfortunate q-led words I don’t really know how to spell. Also, queue. Is that how it’s spelled? I just start throwing ”u” and “e” in some sequence and hope for the best.

Wifey (and yes, yes I know people hate that word, so do I, why I’m using it) specialised in wide brimmed hats and outfits that placed her sartorial preferences squarely in the late 80s and 90s alternative grunge culture scene. I would not have put it passed her to aspire to Wiccanism. Her affect definitely disposed me to think she owned a few Loreena McKennit CDs at the least. Hubby, or “DH”, held out as a self-employed accountant with an interest in environmental matters. I am inclined to think his really name was YT$73er7!!zerkzes and that he hailed from the planet Hodon in the Butterfly Nebula. He did not talk as much as his wife, occasionally rousing himself up to complain about pricing or stairs but preferring to let Wifey wave her hands around like a bat and expound at length upon the vieeeewwwwwwwwwwww.

The couple was looking for a second home in Lincoln City, Snoregon that has an ocean view and is also highly energy efficient. Note that their Alburqsarecomplicated home looked to be in excess of 3000 feet for 1 human, 1 alien and 1 dog. But they were very interested in being green. Which mostly meant that they wanted really pretty stainless steel appliances that were also energy efficient. To emphasize their environmentalist proclivities we were treated to a bizarre scene wherein “Zerk” (his nickname) sorted through a frightening number of Snapple bottles all piled in a plastic bin. He claimed they were focused on “reusing” as much as possible but I figure Snapple, or the glass bottle, contains whatever nutrient he prefers to feed on. 

From the Introductions we cut straight into a mini-interview with a youngish real estate agent who had garbed herself in her best Seattle Grunge Scene Circa 1994 outfit-tight fitting beigey corduroys, a blue striped sweater, clunky shoes and a sort of “sack hat” that look like the product of an unholy marriage between a beret and a crocheted rasta hat. She and the Suzanne Wong voiceover tell us that Lincoln City is a super super green place, the first green dependent town in America, where everyone owns a frontloader and drinks their own recycled pee. No word yet on whether they’re powering the town by composting cow sh*t.

Home #1: The first house is a townhome that’s done up on the outside to look a bit like a colourful cape estate, except huge and with  multiple floors. Wifey has a greengasm over the pine floors, with the real estate agent chiming in to say that pine floors are wayyyyyyyy greener because they’re basically refinished subfloors which most people lay over with “finished” floors. Sine qua what? Is she right about that? We get a glimpse of a couple of bedrooms and a bathroom before we take the stairs up to the kitchen/living area. Architectural aside…I really don’t like that, when you have to climb stairs to access ”public” space and there’s “private” space on the first floor. Definitely not my style unless it’s in one of those you-buy-the-cheapest-house-just-to-get-the-address type towns. The home has definitely been upgraded-from what I remember the kitchen looked “did” with stainless steel and granite with everything in its right place (frock me, Radiohead and Missy in one sentence?). Wifey goes into further spasms over a super ugly mantel that basically consists of an ugly piece of knotty wood over the fireplace flattened on one side and hung up as the mantel. I guess it’s that whole organic bring the outside in type look. It feels out of place in what they’re looking for-a beach place. I wouldn’t find it as strange in a hunting lodge.

Eventually they make their way to the master in the cupola that gives them a .5 inch view of the ocean through a gap in the trees. Zerkses-DH indicates through squeals and grunts that the stairs will be a PITA in the long run. Wifey spins and recites some poetry about the ocean or something. I don’t remember. She spent most of the episode talking about how green they are and then complaining about the size of the rooms.

House #2:  Way over their budget. This is a direct ocean front home on the lower level of a duplex. The views are beautiful. The home is old and they muse about sacrificing energy efficient appliances in order to live right by the Beach.

House #3: a cottage that’s “inland” in that it’s about a 10 minute walk removed from the Beach. 2 to 3 bedrooms if I remember correctly. The home was built to be energy efficient and has all the green appliances they are looking for. Wifey is very disappointed in the smallness of the size but goes into paroxsysms of delight over a clawfoot tub. There’s a cute porch on the second story of the home that allows them to look up the street to a park. The neighborhood looks less “second home” and more like people live there year round.

Which home did they pick? Well, like most HH episodes, it’s the one without the furniture. The green efficient home they feel is a bit too small for them.

Except, here’s where the episode takes a turn for Cribs. Lunatic Wifey is shown sipping champagne, taking a bubble bath in the tub, covered in strategically placed bubbles, with her hair in a towel. YES. The spirit of Mariah Carey had her possessed people. The social worker got hints o’ nakey for HOUSE HUNTERS. Except there was no “this is where the magic happens” montage with the clinking coin/glitter sound in the background. Before I could ruminate on how the Spirit of Mariah Carey fled NYC to make an appearance on House Hunters the scene cut to the couple walking their Irish Setter on the beach, then awkwardly biking around town while DH tried to communicate with Wifey in English. I was still stuck on the fact that they showed her having a bath with strategically placed bubbles. Also, I don’t get the dishtowel around hair maneuver. I mean, if you’re going to get your sexy boudoir thing on during House Hunters why not let your mane go free?

Anyway, then Suzanne Wong voiced-over that she wants me to join her on the next surprising journey towards stainless steel and double sinks and I switched the channel to True Blood.

Join me for the next episode of the Haterade.

 

They say your ability to retain things you’re planning to talk about on the internet

is the first part of your memory to go.

Oh readers. I was planning to tell you something of great import today but it’s 30 minutes t-minus leaving my cell and I can’t for the life of me remember what I was going to talk about. I’m very certain that your cups of happiness were all going to collectively run over once I related it to you though. Maybe it was furniture? Rents in New York City? The fact that I tried to sign Julius up for a twitter account but then quit in the middle when Tweetle & Co. tried to download my hotmail address book as his followers list? I can’t, for the life of me, remember.

So, I know that I’m a little grouchy about local tax increase initiatives and having to work over Christmas (and Thanksgiving this year!) but I hope you don’t think of me as some baby-hating singleton. My pregnant co-worker and I get along really well. I pepper her with horrid baby name suggestions (by today’s watercooler…”Azrael”…”Oh, my husband used to have a lisp so he doesn’t like names with “s” sounds in them) and she gleefully tells me what natural childbirth feels like.

Oh, have I mentioned that Stanislaus gave me a very descriptive run down on crowning? I haven’t? Well, she did. See, Ms. S did it without drugs and her first labor was only 7 hours and change (which is fairly short, apparently). What I don’t get is how my mom managed to birth three of us with *pitocin* and no drugs. No wonder she’s holding it over my head lo these years. 

I guess Ms. S is going to try for another au naturel birth. It sounds very…natural. Heavy emphasis on that word. She made it sounds like she was a horse with a vet…and oh, let’s not go there. Suffice it to say the rundown read like a particularly gruesome passage from a James Herriot novel. Like when he inevitabley crosses the Dales in his turrible car, up mighty snowy banks and across many a field and then he gets to an unheated barn and there’s a cow rolling around with her eyes rolling around in the back of her head and the farmer is thoroughly unsympathetic and gives him a buckit of cold water and some lye-n-lard to soap up and meanwhile the cow has started foaming at the mouth?

I alwasy cross my legs and reflect on what a pity it is that the whole brouhaha hasn’t been effectively outsourced yet.

What other concerns beat in mine black heart? Well, for one thing, I’m highly disappointed with the tone of the discourse on the issue of government healthcare. Or for that matter, on any one of these government led initiatives. And really, I’m disappointed in the Conservatives because I don’t think they’re asking the right questions. There’s all this clamor about death panels and that Sarah Palin woman proclaims her policy initiatives on the Spacebook or some such (as my parents refer to Facebook).

Laws, why is she still talking? And why has Conservatism been dragged down to such an un-intellectual level? I consider myself a moderately-economically-conservative-thingamabob in an intellectual sense and I just want to hide my head in a sack every time the Republicans attempt to thwart Obama. Rather than asking *serious* questions, the discourse is led by these windbag types like Limbaugh and they just take the whole thing off course willy-nilly and I read the news with a ”who fah-ted?” look on my face because I want answers dammit, and it’s like no one is asking what’s obvious to me.

Okay, so let’s lay aside the moral arguments that issue forth from each side. From the Democrats it’s something along the lines of the community, through the instruments of the State, having a moral duty to provide healthcare for those in need. From the Republicans it’s probably the general small-government + self-sustenance hollaback. All well and good. Blahblahblah, I work in government and I see how the state subsidizes both the human and private industry leeches on a daily basis so I just have to snicker whenever morality comes into this. 

What interests me are these points 

1) Economic Pros:

-Potentially helps to revitalize manufacturing and other hard-hit sectors of the economy by alleviating the burden of healthcare if enough people switch over to the government option

-Drives down prices across the Board because private insurance companies are forced to compete with the Feds

-I’m going to go out on a limb here and say personal bankruptcies aren’t good for the economy and there’s strong evidence that many Americans who find themselves underinsured end up in this position

-Increases entrepreneurship by alleviating stress of healthcare concerns on people who might start small businesses

2) Economic Cons-

-There’s strong evidence that the current system of healthcare is what drove technological investment and innovation in this country. By reducing profit margins of existing healthcare actors are we going to stymie research and development in certain areas?

-The United States is still a world leader in technological innovation. Google, Microsoft, Scamazon. They’re from here, not Sweden. I’m sorry but we’re known for a lot more than H&M and IKEA. How will higher taxes impact potential entrepreneurs? Will angel investors become scarce as people have less personal savings.

-Which brings up an important point for me-if taxes go up to support these measures, how am I supposed to keep up with personal savings? For that matter, if people have less in their paycheck, how do we support our consumer economy?

Now, I don’t know if these issues are wrong or right. It’s just that-they make sense, if you get what I mean. They’re logical questions one might think to ask of such a big program. Death panels and the crazy the Republicans are bringing…it’s stupid. It’s unintellectual. I don’t think reaching to talkshow and television bloviaters for inspiration is action befitting a national political party. Jeebus, where is your brain trust?

Personally, I am leaning towards Obama’s healthcare plan. My question is…where does it end. No, seriously. I’m curious. Are maternity leave benefits next? I’m okay with extending FMLA to one year (for job protection status) but I believe that people need to save up the money on their own (similar to Australia). What level of taxation do we consider fair. And not only fair, but economically beneficial?

I wish we could aim for a higher level of discourse on this matter. Part of the reason I love Obama is that he’ll answer intelligent questions intelligently (rather than the rolleyes I-art-smarter-than-thou tactic of most pretentious liberals). Sh*t mofos, it’s the reason I voted for him even though I haven’t been a huge fan of the Dems for years (really, since I interned with them after college). I find it embarrassing that the Republicans don’t ask a capable president who seems reasonably moderate in his stance the tough questions. Like any good lawyer, I think he’d hear them out and maybe even account for their concerns in his own vision of the future if they did.

 

Mystified

1) I am fascinated by what incites people to comment on some blogs and not others. There are excellent, hilarious, touching writers out there that incite, maybe, 11 comments per post (fear not, I do not count myself amongst them). Then I routinely read blogs where the writer gets 30+ comments per post to blibber on about his/her hideous preferences in furniture or muse about a preferred “push present”. I don’t hatecrush this individual. I am genuinely mystified by how he/she earned such a quick following for talking about his/her wallpaper plans. 

Anyway, if you want to read the blog of someone witty and clever (not to mention, a recently published author), go here.

2) I continue to be mystified by the HGTV. Seriously, how stupid are people? If I designed a drinking game for every time I had to listen to “stainless steel,” “open concept,” “double sinks,” or “entertaining space” I’d be packed up and sent off to the Betty Ford Center.

3) When I was studying for the GMATs, I’d get myself through each tedious and depressing day by dreaming about the vacations I was going to take. Occasionally, I’d allow myself a small fantasy about matriculating at different schools. However, I’m one of those people who refuses to think about hypothetical schools before I take the entrance exam-I’m very systematic about the process.

a) I’ve stopped daydreaming about vacations

b) I feel guilty daydreaming about imagining myself at different schools

c) I don’t understand people who have their school of choice picked out before they even sit for the entrance exam.

4) I suspect that I’m a little depressed but I haven’t been very proactive about doing anything about it. Yesterday the vp of the union took me out for a post-work snack because she wanted my opinion on how to draft a bio-resume because she may be appointed to a board and I had so much fun. I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to have nice friends nearby. Most of mine are spread out across the country as I have collected them in a variety of ways (schools, the internet) etc. I am going to a week long labor organizing conference soon though, so maybe I’ll make a few connections there.

My sister is bugging me to try to move back to the Boston area because she wants us to develop a mutually overlapping social life and I’m beginning to think it’s for the best. Having my dad around for so long perked me up. Now I’m back to studying alone, writing essays, and working 24/7.

Anyway, does anyone besides me worry that they’re not taking enough joy out of life? I keep telling myself I will take up some meditation but I always find a reason to veg out to the horrors of HGTV.

Of course, some of this is my fault. For instance, you know that free jeans party that was going on? Guess who invited me? Slackmistress. And guess who decided not to go because she didn’t have time to schedule an eyebrow wax and felt fat and does not currently fit in her size 4 jeans (*sob*, GMAT studying really took its toll on me and because I’m sullen I don’t feel like doing anything about it right now)? ME. I always do this-I always think that I will live my life when “X”. Like right now it’s, “I will allow myself to have fun when I get into school.” I actually wanted to go to Vancouver over Labor Day weekend but when I realised that I had to fly to on-site interviews (in the event that I’m chosen), I decided that I’d do something for myself when I got into school. It’s something I’m trying to overcome-but I feel like I push off “living” until I’ve accomplished X goal. It’s like I’m always punishing myself.

Anyway, I’m sorry Slackmistress. I promise that if you ever invite me to something again, I will show up no matter how pudgey I feel (from taking 4 months off my entire life to study obscure math tricks).    

5) I want to write out a gigantic ranty post on the “women hate women” smugly meme that gets passed around. The VP of the U. is a woman and she was the one who remembered a year after the day that I’d asked her to be appointed to the Board at the next opening and offered me the job. She’s treated the whole thing like a “pass the baton” thing-training me, putting me on the negotiations team, offering me the chance to voice my opinion. Yesterday I was like “Yo, we should have a Holiday Meet and Greet” and this morning she emailed all of us to be like “Monkey had an amazing idea.” She, along with the President, routinely compliments and praises me, referring to me as a “godsend.” It’s kind of embarrassing-but guess who does U work on her personal time? Heh.

I’m just tired of this whole “all women hate other women and find ways to torture them in the workplace” garbage. Men are horrible to each other in the workplace, too, they just don’t get the same hackneyed backstory attached to all of their problems.

 

Where are my people?

Person at Table: “And so he was amazed to discover that he had cousins because he had always been told that he was the only son of an only son of an only son going back several generations…”

Me: So, was he magic?

*rest of table stares*

Person: No, he wasn’t magic. Why would he be magical?

Me: Well, there’s the 7th son of a 7th son business, so why not magical lonely onlies going back several generations? He could have been a disguised unicorn.

*rest of table stares blankly*

Person: Okay, he was TOTALLY not a unicorn. I don’t even now where you get that. *moves on to different subject, angrily*

Oh readers…they’re going to eat me alive in business school.

*sigh* Seriously, I thought that exchange was funny until I realised Person was actually pretty pissed. So I decided not to follow up with “well he might also have been a dragon.”

But seriously…where are my people? My family would have laughed uproariously at that and then someone would have choked on a fishbone.

Do you think people can smell the waves of eccentric rolling off of me?

 

Sapphire Bullet Points of Randomness

1) Why can’t I work myself up to anything other than “it’s hot” or “the air feels like an oven,” or “my town is on fire”? Did you guys miss the bullet points on my life yet? It’s hot, the town is on fire and…it’s hot.

2) Recently I’ve been hating my bed. This is because it was put together by my father. Can I just say for someone who graduated 3rd in his class from IIT, he is horrible at putting together furniture? Do you know who the best furniture assembler is in the whole house? Yours truly. I sort of want this cheap IKEA bedframe, the double bed version of the same frame Sparklygrrl used to have when we lived together in college, but I also feel like it’s a waste of $99.

3) After reading about the trials and tribulations of some person’s cat on a messageboard, I am strongly considering shelling out for pet insurance. Especially since we had the “incident” last week. On the other hand, it doesn’t seem like he has done anything since then and I’m chalking it up to keeping his fountain clean + putting him on a combination of Innova Evo and Royal Canin SO.

4) I am loving lowfat kefir. LOVING. It’s easier to get down in the morning than either yogurt or milk. So far I’ve concocted 2 smoothie variations-kefir + cantaloupe and kefir + strawberries + 1 teaspoon flax peanut butter (TJ’s organic valencia peanut butter with toasted flax seeds). By the way, can I just whoowhoot for all natural peanut butter? It tastes so much better than the peanut butter of my youth.

5) Even though I talked smack about kombucha, I’ve taken up drinking this horrid concoction called young coconut water kefir. It’s made with a different type of kefir grain than the one used to make dairy based kefirs. Truth be told it tastes like cocokombucha, but I find it quite acceptable when one adds a twist of lemon or lime. Sort of like a cocolemonade tangy type deal. The only problem is that it’s outlandishly expensive ($12 for a small bottle) so I’ve decided to go ahead and make it on my own sometime. Until then, I think I shall discontinue use.

6) I have also discontinued Splenda. I read a lot recently about how diet drinks/sodas/foods eventually contribute to weight gain so I decided to cut them entirely out of my diet and just focus on getting rid of sugar altogether. I did some research and I ended up buying some agave syrup?? to put in my homemade yoghurts/cottage cheese mixes.

7) I have to call business schools to ask them a specific question on my recommendations and I feel like such a dork. I’ve been introducing myself, but seriously, do they care about my name and all the pre-information I’m giving them? It just feels so rude to call up and be like “yo, what’s the answer to this question and hang up.”

Throughout this process I’m continually reminded of how different Americans are when it comes to the PR for their schools. Chiefly, how polite. Maybe things have changed-but I keep thinking back to all the experiences I had with my foreign alma mater when I was there and I almost want to weep with gratitude as to the friendliness of some of these schools. 

Also, I am still carrying a big, big grudge against said alma mater from 4 years ago when some fundraising-from-alumni guy called me up asking for money and managed to insinuate that I shouldn’t have been accepted because I was American. And how had he gauged that I was American? Because I live in the United States of course! It was when I was right out of law school so I didn’t have much moxie to say anything other than “I was raised in X and I happen to be a citizen, thanks,” which actually happened to make me closer, culturally, to the school than he was. Yes, only my Marxist alma mater could call up an alumnus, ask for money and then insult her on her face. There were some remarkably non-tactful people at my law school but I assure you that when they write and ask me for money they are supremely polite about it rather than accosting me with a “so you came here for cheap tuition because you’re an American, so now you owe us some money because we shouldn’t be accepting people like you anyway.” Yes, oh yes he said that to me. 

So, guess who I make my yearly check out to? The law school. It’s not a ton of money (I worked myself up from $100 to $200 recently) but they’re getting all of it. ALL OF IT.  

9) *sniff* I don’t know how to say this guys, but it’s a good thing I hadn’t purchased my little white Mac yet. Nearly every one of the schools I’m applying to is outright requiring or “strongly strongly suggesting” that I buy a PC. And most of them are offering deals with Lenovo (used to be IBM). I’m probably going to get a Lenovo T400. They are fantastically ugly but I’m actully slowly coming around to loving it in its deliberate ugliness. I think I shall call him Gimli. Gimli the PC. The thing is, I don’t particularly care about the computer but I was really looking forward to getting my free Ipod touch with my Mac (which is a deal they routinely give if you buy the computer for school). Ah well. I love Macs but I love the convenience of being on the recommended platform more.

 

Dreams come true

I was at a business school related event last night which ended with me driving home elated. Compared to law school (and for that matter, medical school) it seems like such a fun degree. Not that it’s easier or anything-but there’s more focus on group work, which I hope somewhat combats the clique issue my sister and I experienced in law/med school. I am not naive enough to think the “popular group” won’t exist, but there’s a stronger focus on working with people who may not be your friends and figuring out people’s potential to create teams…and there was nothing like that in law school (at least, not when I went), which I felt was mostly a solitary affair.

I also love, love, love that business schools carry over aspects of undergrad that I really missed out on-chiefly, study abroad. Finally, one of my biggest issues with law school is that it’s so theoretical-last night it was made clear that we’d be expected to form groups and work on projects with companies during school. Basically as a sort of mini-apprenticeship. Also, it’s hard to explain, but the degree feels more “current” in that there’s a big element of trying to keep up with changes as a matter of coursework and discussion. Meanwhile, law schools start out with discussions of une noxious fox and the decoy duck…

Not that I mind understanding the noxious fox thing, I loved tracing the development of bodies of law…but seriously, most people are so misinformed about what law school is really like! They think of it as this little intellectual hive with intense peopel having intellectual debates or something and at least for me, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Fortunately I’d read up on it obsessively before I went, and I’d prepped intensively for how to study for exams (and on a daily basis) and the socratic method-but it’s still a shock to get there and realise how traditional the field continues to be. And in fairness, the way they teach you to think is really important for how you approach legal problems once you get out. But there wasn’t an emphasis on “real world” lawyering skills and I felt like I had to do tons and tons of catch up when I got my first job.

I was a little surprised at the age range for the kids-I am definitely on the older side this time while I was just at/below the mean last time (I was 23 when I went to law school). Every one looked really young. And people were wearing shorts! And letting their cell phones ring while the admissions officer was giving his/her speech-which quite shocked me.

Ultimately, I came away feeling great about myself as a applicant. This really is a opportune moment in my career to make the switch and right now I think there’s about an 80% chance that I get in this year. However, I also really liked the fact that the information sessions are giving me thoughts on how to fill the gaps in my resume and re-appear as an even stronger candidate (if necessary) next year. Obviously I will have a small cryfest if I get a pile of no-thankyous, but I think regrouping from it will be fairly easy, especially since there’s going to be so much stuff I’ll do to make myself even stronger for next time. However, as my father pointed out, now even *I* feel good about my chances and since I’m only applying to schools that I really, really like…if I get in this year to any of them, I’m going to go.

On the way back I drove past a couple of sights I’ve read about in US Weekly but have never seen before-Chateau Marmont and Hyde, the club, which I think is where all the really newsworthy drug overdoses and debauchery goes down. Whenever people from the East Coast ask me whether I’ve seen movie stars or whatever I just draw a blank. Lots of stuff films downtown (for instance, today there are yellow signs for that show called Chuck all over the place) but seriously, I lead such a boring businessy life here. No connection to the entertainment industry whatsoever-unless you count the fact that I work with someone who was on a reality show (no, I’m not going to say which one). So it was kind of a “huh, look at that” moment as I drove past said locations.

And I drove home on Route 2, which should really be called Highway of the Fires as that’s all I saw on the way back to Pasadena.

Anyway, you can make your dreams come true. Especially if you give over your entire life to them

 

Where the Wildfires Rage

I’m fantasizing about moving out to the West Side for the first time since I moved here, so help me gods. The fires were out of control where I live-so much so that I got out of The Hurt Locker (fantastic movie, by the way, strongly recommended) on Saturday night, looked North and actually saw FLAMES shooting up from the ridge of the San Bernardino Mountains. If you know Pasadena at all, I was by the Laemmle, which is pretty far away from where all the action is going down in the Altadena area.

Because I am a curious looky-looloo I ended up driving north to check out all the fire related action. The fires are pretty close to where I used to live (Altadena/Pasadena boundary) and I know the neighbourhood pretty well. Trust me when I say that driving up Lake Street to where you can get on the hiking trails isn’t a crowded Saturday night drive. Not usually. But every one wanted to Ridge Flames so it was a crowded drive up. When I got up to where you can usually park to go hiking, it was crowded as heck with looky-looloos parked by the side of the road taking photographs and filming the action on videocameras and taking cellphone shots. I looky-loolooled myself for a couple of minutes. Part of me was debating going back home, getting my camera and coming back (the fires are very close to the Northern Altadena homes, they must have evacuated)  but it was really, really late (past midnight) and I didn’t feel like making the attempt. Besides, it looks like plenty of other people had the same idea so I’m sure there are shots all over Flickr right now.

I’ve seen the dull red of forest fires before, and smelled the the smoke, but this is something entirely different. Apparently the San Bernardino mountains in the SGV area are just kindling right now, because the areas affecting our neighborhoods haven’t burned in a couple of decades. Hence the flames, I mean, flames that must be several feet high, shooting up and clearly visible at a distance.

Also, my throat has been hurting increasingly since last Wednesday and all of Pasadena feels like living inside a smoker. I barely feel like going outside and exercising because we just keep breathing in smokeyish air. Part of me wonders why I even quit smoking a couple of years ago. I feel like living out here negates all the health benefits…

 

There may be something to Twitter after all…

I am going to get on Twitter and complain about the AC in our downtown LA office, in oven hot weater, with wildfires on all sides of us…going out. I know I can count on all 2 of my outraged followers to pester a bankrupt real estate company into fixing this for me.

As a business aside-has Twitter figured out a way to make money yet? If all these gigantic corporations are indeed using the service to monitor customer complaints, would there be some way to charge them (the corporations) for it? I can’t get over how cool web 2.0 actually is, but on the other hand, it seems difficult to make a financial go of it-everyone expects you to do all the work and then they can use the application for free, for free, for freeeeeeeeewheeee! And seriously is advertising going to save the day each time?

Like one day I was pissed that I wasn’t able to find parking somewhere (yet again), and in spite of arriving to the place 30 minutes early, I ended up at the event 30 minutes late!  So I called up my brother-in-law and asked him if we could coordinate with cities using metre information, to create a location-based mobile phone application that would allow people to create a zone  around their desired location and get pings and constantly uploading data on empty parking metres spots rather than doing the frantic and aimless circle around?

If you have never lived in an overcrowded city where either the weather or the public transport situation requires that you drive, you won’t understand. And let me tell you that even in cities like New York and Chicago and DC, where there IS better public transport, people are still circling and trying to find parking.

And he said, yes, yes we could spend money and time developing the product and marketing it, but you know what? NO MONEY. We would make NO MONEY on it because people want it for FREE. FOR FREE.

And before the election I had an idea for a mobile phone app that would help political campaigns keep track of data they accumulate during the course of a campaign for GOTV operations (and how do I know what type of data campaigns accumulate during the courses of campaigns? Because my first job out of college was as a Field Organizer for a Democratic political consultancy for a Congressional campaign) such that they would be able to run more efficient operations on election day-and we brainstormed and hemmed and hawed and got someone to talk to someone else about it and that person was all “no, poopie” and then OBAMA kind of did the same thing on election day. He used mobile phone apps to harangue-text people into voting. And my application was kind of the same principal except it allowed for a text back, that would allow you to have constantly streaming data of who did vote for you so you could utilise volunteers more efficiently on election day. Back in the Stone Ages, you would have to have your volunteers dial for dollars over and over and over again till you got that person on the phone and could cross them off your GOTV list, or you’d have to send people to knock on their doors. Do you guys see how many fewer volunteers you’d need to do that work if you had the text back option and all of this stuff switched to mobile phone over the next few years? You’d be able to use your volunteers to do something else.

Again, NO MONEY.

Anyway, I think I have baked long enough in this office so I’ll bid you all adieu. Have a nice weekend!

 

Dispatches from the eye of the storm

I keep wanting to write extremely whiney posts about how my life is just a vortex of suck right now-between the fact that I’m taking multiple math classes (and that I spent my hard-won award money on math classes!!!!), writing 50 essays, attempting to learn design software for the “artsy” essays, houding people for recommendations and working through closing season + union job and dealing with the heavy disappointment of being put on notice that I cannot go to Hawaii until I either get an admission or notification that I am denied from all the schools I’m applying to because…schools interview! And I’m already committed to a week in Baltimore for training during interview season so I don’t want to jack it up for myself by taking any more time off to go on vacation. Oh, and one of the schools I’m applying to? One that I have a really good shot at? Requires that I be on-site prior to even receiving an interview invitation. So I have to reserve a long weekend just for that.

So I’ll admit that I am just a really bad, bad, bad blog friend right now. For the record-if you have contacted me at my hotmail address (which, err, I haven’t checked in months and should do so tonight)…I am really, really, really sorry if I never wrote back to you. I should just give people I trust my gmail address, which I think I’m going to do in the future.

Anyway, I haven’t written the above whiney posts because I’m the person I put in this pickle obviously and I’m sure that I do not need to earn the internet’s collective eyeroll over…the obvious. Here I was, squatting in a pile of legal win (tenured job), and I decided to pull myself out of my muck to slop over into a different swamp. It’s just that I think I might like that swamp better.

Where was I again? Oh yes, explaining why I’m not whining + apologising for being a right bint. So, right now I’m trying to manage my fear over not getting in to a single school that I apply to-that would really break my heart. But as is my wont, I will put my heart back together again, figure out the professional holes I need to fill up with professional putty and reapply next year. Besides, I’m repeating the mantra my parents are telling me to chant whenever I start getting anxiety over a massive denial list…1) Your sister was summarily waitlisted at every single school in spite of her 36 MCATs and 3.98 GPA and she eventually went on to one of the best medical schools in the United States and 2) You have the type of job people envy-good hours, good pay and low stress (both ethically and professionally). So yeah, I have work, I am working, my work is by all standards, really decent work and I will eventually get in, even if it doesn’t happen this year. What doesn’t kill us only makes us strong. Also bitter. But definitely stronger.

As an aside, one of the reasons it took so long for me to even do something so simple as approving a really nice person’s (whom I have met in person) comment is that I discovered early this week that J the Cat wreaked an injulius basterd victory over my father by slyly creeping into my walk-in closet and urinating all over the clothes my father accidentally left folded on the floor of my closet, in a corner, and forgot to take home. And then, to congratulate himself on this victory, he decided to piddle over several of my shoes. My shoes.  MY SHOES.

It took every, and I do mean every, ounce of effort not to skin him by his striped tail. And really, I am at my wit’s end (don’t worry, I’m keeping him). I know it’s nasty to throw this in an adoptive’s face-but seriously, I take this abandoned cat with a very unattractive mote in his left eye into my heart and home and he repays me by hosing down my shoes and my beloved father’s clothes with passive-aggressive tomcat wee.

My other theory is that the last time he decided to take an out-of-box urinary excursion…right on my Kenneth Cole leather tote bag…I had put him on Wyson Uretic. However, before I ran out, I had always mixed it with Innova Evo, which had historically done wonders in controlling his struvite crystals. I’m beginning to think that the last time he roused himself up to putting me “on notice,” had less to do with his diet and everything to do with the fact that his fountain broke and for a week he was drinking (or not drinking enough water) out of glasses and bowls and he stopped out-of-box activity as soon as he got a new fountain. But not only did I replace the fountain, I also started mixing in Wysong Uretic and assumed that it was the food change that did the trick.

The thing about J and his fountain is that not only will he ONLY deign to drink “running” water, he also only drinks very cold running water.  And his royal highness prefers bottled. Changed out every day.

First world cat.

So as I said, I have been very busy and very tired and the fountain got a little nasty and I stupidly relied on his organic natural holistic urinary tract diet to keep the struvites at bay. I suspect that I’m basically going to have to sack up and do what I was doing, which is change the water out more often that I did over the last month. However, I’ve decided to dupe him on the coldness with ice cubes…because seriously, I cannot dump out spring water out of a giant bloody fountain everyday! As a prophylactic measure, he’s going back on a mix of Innova Evo and Royal Canin SO because we really did have excellent results from that combination.

Another possibility is that I’m overthinking this and he peed all over the closet to 1) express his displeasure that he is left home alone again all day and/or 2) he hated my father. The thing is, you’re going to say, “get another cat”. Two things-I am very serious about taking care of these guys and I don’t want the expense of another cat. My cat already goes to the Beverly Hills version of a vet-it’s my decision because she offers 1) EXCELLENT service and 2) In a clean, professional, non-dodgey environment. I know I should cut vet offices some slack but I do think there are some practices that are just so slovenly about maintaining the premises-my vet spends the money to make it not smell. Seriously. She also doesn’t rip me off, but she charges accordingly for the perks-drop-off/pickup, really nice building, on-site lab etc.. People in Pasadena love her and I have been very happy with her ever since I found her. So anyway, I don’t want to have to pay for annual 2 dewormings, 2 packets of Frontline (year round necessity here) etc.. Life is expensive here and I know my limits-if I could, I’d adopt every disabled cat under the sun but I only have the financial wherewithall for one. The second thing is that my parents are down to 2 cats and in the event that I do have to board Jules with them (say, if I take an internship or do a semester abroad), they are going to be tolerant of a single cat. They will flip their LIDS over two cats. So I don’t feel like financially signing on to another animal and the backup plan I have for boarding is going to go down the hole if I get him a friend to play with.

Where was I? Ah yes, I spent every night this week disinfecting the closet. Do you know how long it takes that smell to go away? Even on tile? A long time.  And this weekend I will spent an entire morning cleaning off all the shoes he tried to murder. I hope you all have a much better weekend than I will have.

PS: jeez I make a lot of typing mistakes.

PPS: Maytaggate ‘09 was awesome, you guys. Seriously. Kerfuffle over a washing machine. I was riveted all day yesterday and it’s even carrying-over into snickers for today. Gosh, you know what makes me really happy? Rethinking going into marketing. And I’m not dissing on bloggers here-there have been plenty of company-to-bloggers kerfuffles of ridiculously poor management, too. But still do you guys think there’s an element of childishness and pettiness to these kerfuffles? And, please, for the love, of gods, I do not want to cast it as “woman problem”-I mean, seriously, it seems like people involved in social media are of a more high strung or flakey bent and I feel like it would be like babysitting to have to deal with this stuff.

“What did you do today, hon?”

“Oh, I’m just trying to tamp down the fires on washergate ‘o9!”

PPPS: Yesterday I got an email saying I had been shortlisted for having my Berkin Bag photo included in the Schmaps Vegas Guide for 2009. That was certainly nice!

 

Welcome, Quinn

Readers,

My old classmate (who I think remembers that I was a completely unappetizing bitch in law school but who has chosen to forgive me anyway) just had another, absolutely gorgeous son. Seriously, go tell her congratulations, pretty please. She totally deserves it.

PS to everyone: STOP HAVING CUTE BABIES, DAMMIT.

Wilkommen to Quinn!